Hola political junkies and hardworking people of the world!
You know what looks like a really easy job? Pretty much any job you have to get
elected to do. I thought of this after reading Mike's comment on our Person of the Week post on Sunday. I’m pretty sure this is why so many people who supposedly
despise government want so badly to get elected to a job where you are supposed
to help run it. It’s easy. The pay is good, especially compared to the effort,
and the benefits that most of these guys are outraged that poor people might
have access to are amazing. Seriously, it all looks like cake to me.
Sure, there are a handful of elected positions that are
pretty stressful. Let’s list them …
1. President of the United States
2. Leadership of either party in the House or Senate
3. Governor of NY, CA, IL or FL (and maybe a couple of other big, diverse states)
4. Mayor of a very large diverse city with high crime rates like OBAMA’S CHICAGO!
5. Sherriff of large diverse counties with high crime rates.
2. Leadership of either party in the House or Senate
3. Governor of NY, CA, IL or FL (and maybe a couple of other big, diverse states)
4. Mayor of a very large diverse city with high crime rates like OBAMA’S CHICAGO!
5. Sherriff of large diverse counties with high crime rates.
THAT’S IT! THAT’S THE LIST! All other elected positions are
freaking easy-peasy lemon-squeazy!
Seriously though, just being a regular, everyday member of
congress? That’s fucking easy street right there. You might have to attend some
late night sessions so you can vote however leadership or your biggest
political donor told you to, but in general it’s not very taxing. Congressman
John Paul Hammerschmidt represented Arkansas’ 3rd District for
twenty-six years without ever authoring a single piece of legislation. What the
hell did he do all that time? I mean, other than standing tall with Richard Nixon?
That’s how easy that job is.
Most members of congress are failed businessmen, used car
dealers or over-zealous prosecutors who railroaded just enough black people to
the electric chair to get elected. They don’t bother themselves with big issues
of the day. They aren’t involved in international relations and making the
decision to go to war is easy because they aren’t sending anyone in their
family off to die in a foreign desert.
Oh sure they have to hold the occasional press conference
where they complain about the President taking an “undeserved” vacation right
before they fly off on a lobbyist paid trip to a small Caribbean island known
for its cheap and easy drugs and readily available underage hookers through the
flesh trade. That’s a small price to pay though!
And the Senate? Don’t get me started! Again, if you’re not
part of the party leadership you’re just another member of the greatest and
cushiest country club in the world. Hell, they get six whole freaking years so
they don’t even have to worry about getting reelected every two years. Get
elected once and you are guaranteed to make the five years needed to get a
pension. Get reelected once and you’ll probably be there a loooooooong time.
What an amazing life these people lead. Hell, even lower
level elected officials like Arkansas Lt. Governor Mark Darr get all kinds of
perks. He gets a state police escort to drive him wherever he wants to go
whether it’s an official state event or personal. He defends this by saying he
needs to be on his phone doing state business. The Arkansas Lt. Governor has
fewer official duties assigned to him than the Vice President. Which means
FUCKING ZERO!
I’m telling ya people, the hardest thing these people have
to do is decide what to wear to the meet and greet cocktail parties thrown by
lobbyist where they all get together and plan out how to further fuck the
regular people over.
I really don’t know whether to be disgusted by all this or
in awe of it.
6 comments:
Just as Kirk Ferentz is to Iowa football, politicians are to our members of Congress. He accomplishes little, and yet, he comes back every year. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt
You've talked me into running for congress. I think I'll run under the Party party.
I have looked into it, and being a politician is not for me.
Turns out, you have to shake hands and act like you LIKE people.
I just don't know that I can do that at any salary level.
Matt-Man: I'm not even an Iowa fan and Kirk Ferentz and his ridiculous millions a year salary pisses me off.
Jay
Mike: I'll move up there so I can vote for you.
Jay
Katy Anders: If you can stand it for maybe two elections you probably won't have to deal with "people" anymore.
Jay
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