Once again, someone out there needs IWS’ help, and once
again, we are here for them.
Yo, Viking Dude, first of all I just wanted to let you know
that you’re my fucking hero. I’m serious. I fucking love IWS Radio
and think you and the Matt-Man are the coolest cats around.
Here’s my situation. I think I’ve finally worked up the courage to go to a strip club this weekend. I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
Thanks,
G-Dawg
G-Dawg,
Thanks for the kind words. It’s nice to actually get positive feedback every once in a while. I mean sure all those sexy pics and love letters that women email me are awesome, but sometimes having a stranger take the time to tell me how awesome I am is really nice too.
So, as for your question you’ve come to the right place dude. Here is the information you need.
Here’s my situation. I think I’ve finally worked up the courage to go to a strip club this weekend. I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
Thanks,
G-Dawg
G-Dawg,
Thanks for the kind words. It’s nice to actually get positive feedback every once in a while. I mean sure all those sexy pics and love letters that women email me are awesome, but sometimes having a stranger take the time to tell me how awesome I am is really nice too.
So, as for your question you’ve come to the right place dude. Here is the information you need.
- First I recommend that you go during the day until you learn the ropes. Things are usually more laid back during the day, the crowds are smaller (and less scary) and you can settle in better.
- BE NICE TO THE GIRLS. I can’t stress this enough. For the most part the girls are friendly and nice and they take a lot of shit from douche bags. Don’t be one of them.
- TIP! Go up to the stage, stand where you’re supposed to stand (learn from watching other people) and tip the girl. And then … SAY THANK YOU to the girl.
- Don’t drink too much. I know from personal experience that people say and do stupid things when they’re drunk. By not drinking too much you won’t risk doing something that will get you physically removed from the club.
- Don’t start going to the club every single day. That’s pathetic. At least don’t go to the SAME club every day. You don’t want the girls to look up and say “OMG, him AGAIN??”
- Fee free to ask the girls what the “rules” are. They’ll probably ask you if you’ve been there before and then tell you the rules when you say “no” but if they don’t just ask. They’ll appreciate your consideration.
- Don’t get all grabby. Let her do her thing when getting a lap dance. Also, keep your fucking tongue to yourself you sick fuck. And don’t try to kiss her either (they all have herpes). The dancer sets the rules and you just follow her lead.
- Do not. I mean DO NOT bitch about the prices to the girls. Anytime you complain about the price of a lap dance you are basically telling the girl she isn’t worth it. That’s rude. Besides, complaining about the prices also tells the girls that you’re a cheap bastard.
- TIP! This one bears repeating. The girls are working hard. They’re trying to make sure you have a great experience and their time is worth paying for.
- Maker her laugh. Dancers put up with the absolute worst of society. Every single kind of asshole and rude, arrogant fuck come into their clubs every single day. Instead of being one of those guys, be the one who made her laugh and feel good. Compliment her and be casual and comfortable around her and just be a gentleman in general.
Okay, so the last thing you probably want to ask, or maybe the ONLY thing, is whether or not it’s okay to ask for “extras” in the VIP room or even ask her on a date. Well, that’s an easy one. The answer is an emphatic NO. There isno sex in the Champagne Room.
And one more time … TIP THE DANCERS … This is their job. They’re there to make a living and pay their bills. You are the customer and you are getting something from them of value (there time and the chance to see their boobies up close). Expect to pay for it and be willing to do so.
10 comments:
Get a shitload of dollar bills dude. 100 singles makes you look like a baller. Where do you think the phrase "make it rain" came from?
If you go to the VIP room, offer to buy the girl a drink. Pending on the rules of the club, she may or may not be able to.
Always get the prices up front in regards to the backroom and MAKE SURE THAT YOU STATE YOU WANT ONE DANCE. Some of the girls will try and slip in another dance and they'll charge you for it too.
Also, if you see a group of female Asians there, get chummy with them. You probably won't score with one of the strippers BUT Asians are freaky and when they're at the strip club it brings out ALL of their freakiness. Buy them some drinks too, that way when last call/dance comes -- yeah, you know.
Keep in mind, that these girls are there to work. IT's a dirty job and some sexy girl with a c-section scare that glows in the dark wearing 9 inch heels has to do it. If they flirt with you, they were flirting 5 minutes earlier with the 90 year old guy who came in his underoos when she winked at him. As interested as she might be -- she's not.
Oh and back to the Asians. Say you do get 'in' with the freaky girls. You can get kicked out for making out in a strip club -- so save that shit for the parking lot.
Tyla: Truly brilliant advice. I would say though that if I see a group of Asian women ANYWHERE I intend to get chummy with them. ;-)
Jay
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For sure, strip clubs rule.
Once again, you have proven that you and IWS are an invaluable source of helpful information. Cheers to you my good man.
Matt-Man
These are great tips!
You should give us an advice on how to get rid of these anonymous spammers. Do we kill them or...?
Mike: Totally!
Jay
Matt-Man: We're here to help.
Jay
Gnetch: Stuff them all into a rocket and blast them off into space.
Jay
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