A Day at the Laundromat

Every single apartment in my complex has a washer and dryer in it. They are apartment sized so they can’t handle huge loads, but they are pretty handy to have. Nothing sucks more than having to go to the Laundromat to do you clothes. It’s inconvenient, time consuming and in general it’s a HUGE hassle.

But, it can also be a pretty fascinating place. Much like riding the city bus, you meet all kinds of interesting people at the Laundromat. I remember going to the Laundromat in San Antonio. Now that was an experience! I really miss those people too.

The first thing I had to do was decide whether or not my clothes were worth dying for should gunfire break out. I decided that I would protect my clothes unless there were more than two people attempting to take them or if it was one person with a gun.

There was quite a collection of people down there. There was a little old lady that looked to be at least 137 years old. I assumed she was the attendant that the sign said was on duty from 8 am til 12 midnight. Oh by the way, anyone there at midnight better either have a death wish or be a total fucking bad-ass cause if that place was scary at 2 pm I really would hate to see it after dark.

There was also the young, as in probably barely 20 years old, girl with THREE kids. Oh and the kids were sooooooo cute too. Especially the way they kept opening the doors to everybody’s dryer so it would stop and I would have to go over and restart it. Finally I just moved my chair over in front of the dryers with my clothes in them.

And of course there was the prostitute working the afternoon shift. I assume they work shifts right? I mean, if I were a pimp I’d want coverage on both the day shift and night shift. Anyway, she came in to take a lunch break. Lunch consisted of two bags of Nacho Cheese Doritos and a can of Pepsi.

She came over and sat down near where I was sitting and started talking about how hot it was out there and she should start only going with guys who have air conditioning in their car. She was pretty funny. Anyway, she seemed pretty nice, which I guess she would be, being in the customer service industry and all. Finally, she turned to me and asked if I wanted the rest of her second bag of chips cause she was “stuffed”. I said no thanks. She shrugged her shoulders and said “Okay, but this is the only thing I give away for free.”

Okay, she didn’t really say that. She just shrugged her shoulders and tossed the bag on a folding table and walked out. But, someday when I write my screenplay and put the “laundry scene” in it, I’m gonna have the hooker say that. I think it’s important for hookers to be presented in a good light so I’ll make her all funny and sassy.

Then the big guy showed up. And by big, I mean Saquille O’Neal would give this guy a wide berth. He walked in, surveyed the situation and then asked the young mom what machines where hers and she showed him. I was sitting in front of mine, but I would have happily moved if he would let me live. Instead he went to the other end and opened the dryers being used by a guy and his girlfriend who stupidly stuffed their clothes into a dryer and left. He grabbed all their stuff and walked out. Nobody even really looked at him even though we all knew what he was doing. The old lady just shook her head and went back to her ironing and folding. I decided my clothes were more than dry enough and began to pull them from the dryers.

Then, the highlight of the day happened. The young mom tried to start a dryer and it wouldn’t work. She turned to one of her kids and said “Go tell daddy that the machine took my money”. So, the little kid went outside and told the drug dealer working the parking lot that mom needed money. The drug dealer handed him some keys which he took back to mom. Mom then unlocked the door on the machine and took her quarters back out and moved everything to another machine. Then the kid took the keys back to daddy.

Yup, the drug dealer in the parking lot was the attendant on duty.

I didn’t even bother to fold my still semi-wet clothes.

I also never went to that Laundromat again either.

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*Sorry there are no pics with this post, but Blogger sucks and I couldn't upload any.