Hola casual and fanatical sports fans! It’s time once again for the NCAA Men’s Championship Game. This year it features the Louisville Cardinals against the Michigan Wolverines. As usual, I’m here to break the game down for you scientifically.
Drink every time ….
1. CBS shows Kevin Ware2. Someone misses a free throw. Wait, drink when they MAKE one. I want you to live.
3. Clark Kellogg makes up a word like “Suprtability”
4. Jim Nantz reads a promo for a CBS show.
5. There’s a controversial charge/block call.
6. They talk about how “young” Michigan is.
7. CBS shows a Master’s promo
8. Someone dribbles the ball off his foot out of bounds.
9. They talk about a players “length”
10. There’s a timeout called, either by a team or a TV timeout.
Chug an entire beer if…
1. A player actually hits BOTH free throws.
2. NEITHER Jim Nantz NOR Rick Pitino cheat on their wives this weekend.
3. Doug Gottlieb tells a race joke.
4. The game is over before 11:30 pm ET.
5. CBS shows a Big Bang Theory promo featuring Kaley Cuoco’s Big Bang Boobs!
2. NEITHER Jim Nantz NOR Rick Pitino cheat on their wives this weekend.
3. Doug Gottlieb tells a race joke.
4. The game is over before 11:30 pm ET.
5. CBS shows a Big Bang Theory promo featuring Kaley Cuoco’s Big Bang Boobs!
If you just don’t care for basketball or just can’t stand the squeaky sneakers, you have other entertainment options:
Read “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” by Louisville’s own Hunter S. Thompson…
Read “Death of a Salesman” by University of Michigan alum Arthur Miller …
Watch “Return of the Living Dead” which is set in Louisville, KY…
Watch “The Bill Chill” as all the main characters met while attending the University of Michigan…
Let’s see what the late, great Nipsey Russell has to say about this game ..
“Louisville and Michigan will get it on for the title
Speed, experience, shooting and coaching are all vital
Look for the Cardinals to pull away late
And leave UK fans stewing in their bowl of hate.”
Speed, experience, shooting and coaching are all vital
Look for the Cardinals to pull away late
And leave UK fans stewing in their bowl of hate.”
And what does legendary basketball analyst Dick “Dickie V” Vitale have to say…
“Well I tell ya, this is going to be an absolute war out there. You’ve got all the Diaper Dandies for Michigan against Louisville’s Glue Guys who are so disciplined and go so hard for forty full minutes. It’s down-right scary how well these two teams match up with each other. It’s unbelievable how many P-T-P-ers there will be on that floor Monday night. And of course we’re talking about two of the real legends of college basketball coaching this game. Both are all-timers. I don’t know who’s gonna win, but IT’S GONNA BE AWESOME BAY-BEEEE!”
As for my pick? Vegas installed Louisville as a 3.5 point favorite. I say take the points and run ..
Louisville 79
Michigan 68
Michigan 68
Enjoy the game everybody. Or don’t. I don’t really care.
Also, be sure to check out "Hookers and Blow" on IWS Radio from Sunday. We talked about so many different things including Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon, The Master's, Media Whores and more! Also, Slyder Balzcock, Kirk Douglas, Paul Piatt and the rest of the gang. Check it out!
Listen to internet radio with IWS Radio on Blog Talk Radio
9 comments:
I may watch it just for the Kaley shots.
I'll join this game. I'll drive every time someone tweets about it.
The zombie flick is my choice. Naturally.
I thought the Wisconsin Gophers were playing the Lewisville Clarks.
Slyder Balzcock
Mike: A lot of people probably will do just that.
Jay
Gnetch: I'll drink every time you drink. ;-p
Jay
Edita: There's something for everyone there.
Jay
Slyder: How's August ME? Ready to watch some of the Mater's practice rounds?
Jay
as your attorney i advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. and you're gonna need the cocaine.
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