Don't Be an Enemy of Fun

Hola y’all! We all love to talk a lot about what’s wrong with this country. Everyone has an opinion and what you think is the problem generally depends on which political party you belong to. But, I think I’ve actually discovered what’s REALLY wrong with America. There are too many people opposed to having fun. Who are these Enemies of Fun?

Conservatives hate fun. HATE! In fact, as we all know, the driving force behind most conservatives is that they’re afraid that someone somewhere is having a good time. Conservatives are generally obsessed with sex, so that’s where they focus their anti-fun activities. If you’re not having one-man-one-woman married sex in the missionary position for the exclusive intent of procreation, conservatives want you thrown in jail or at least publicly shamed. Same goes for having a drink or even worse … GAMBLING!

Liberals hate fun almost as much as conservatives. I know they like to claim it isn’t true, but liberals get very upset when they see someone having fun. Let’s say you’re sitting on the front porch of your own home, minding your own business, smoking a cigarette. Liberals lose their shit over this! And, if it’s a really big home that you bought with money you made in the financial services industry and there also happens to be a really expensive car in the driveway liberals DOUBLE HATE the fun you’re having. Also sporting events where someone has to lose and not get a trophy makes liberals sooooo sad.

Teachers hate fun. Yeah, I know they have to keep kids in line and they have to be in charge and all that, but mostly the teachers are just trying to make sure the kids aren’t having any fun. Even if you’re allowed to go outside for recess there will be NO RUNNING! No loud talking or laughing! No playing Tag or Red Rover or any other game that might involve touching each other at all. Also, if the playground equipment isn’t covered with Nerf Foam then you must stay off it!

Preachers, Priests, Mullah, Rabbis and all other religious and “spiritual” leaders hate fun. Anything that’s really fun is immoral. Unless of course they are the ones engaging in said fun, then that’s different!

Nanny Staters like Michael Bloomberg and Mika Brzezinski hate most things that are fun, especially if they taste good. They are here to protect you from yourself.  Want a big, refreshing Pepsi or Coke? Nope, it should be against the law. While they can’t outlaw having a cheeseburger they think they should be able to set calorie limits on foods private businesses serve to their customers who WANT those things. And, you’ve gotta love Bloomberg’s latest idea to HIDE the cigarettes. He’s hoping that if you don’t see them you won’t want any and magically everyone will stop smoking!

Bitter, angry sportswriters hate fun. A player that gets excited and wants to celebrate isn’t being classy enough for these morons. A lot of them are on full display this weekend and they don’t even bother to hide their disgust at small schools and unknowns like Florida Gulf Coast having the AUDACITY to beat people like Georgetown. They feel like the big, rich schools from the “power” conferences have some special entitlement that means the small schools should just roll over for them. Now that the tournament gets more and more even every year, with more of the “big” schools losing they’re bitching that too many teams are allowed in and arguing the NCAA should do away with the automatic qualifiers.

The internet is full of people who really fucking hate anyone having fun. I’m not really talking about haters, I’m just talking about those people who just shit all over everyone's fun. A great example would be this chick who last week was bitching up a storm about St. Patrick's Day. She was saying if you aren't FROM Ireland then you can't call yourself Irish even if you parents are from there but you aren't. Why do people get all picky and bitchy like that over something that is just about having fun?

All of these people I just mentioned are so sad. It must be awful to go through life never having any fun. Worse than that though is being one of those people who get angry when others are having fun.

Let’s all agree right here and right now to NEVER be an Enemy of Fun!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Speaking of fun, we celebrated Palm Funday over on I’m With Stupid Sunday morning it was pretty much nonstop fun the whole time! We talked Palm Sunday, Obama in Israel, the NCAA Tournament and more. Plus there was a live remote from Guy Ahnyurdyck in Jerusalem plus Billy Roy “Stonewall” Jackson here in Redneckville. Then we called Billy the Kid at the Beer Mine and Drive-By Mikey to check on his cholesterol. On top of all that, our correspondent Joshua brought us a very special interview of John the Apostle! All that and so much more! Check it out! 

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