Matt Said, Jay Said 8675309

Matt blah-blahs … Jay blah-blahs … You pretend to listen.

Matt: How may I direct your call?
Jay: I’m calling for a Matt … Man?
Matt: One moment please.
Jay: *dances to hold music*
Matt: Matt-Man here.
Jay: Wait, put me back on hold. Love Kenny G’s version of “Kiss Me Deadly”
Matt: Sorry, it’s probably over by now, but that’s a great one!
Jay: Dude rocks!
Matt: Totally. AND … His hair is almost as awesome as Lita Ford’s!
Jay: He probably spends more time on it.
Matt: Gotta be tedious to put all those kinks in his long hair.
Jay: Probably takes all afternoon.
Matt: That’s just ridiculous.
Jay: I need a haircut.
Matt: Me too.
Jay: Okay then!
Matt: Good talk!
Jay: See ya!

Matt: Oh wait!
Jay: Yes?
Matt: Why did you call?
Jay: I called you?
Matt: That’s what my personal assistant says.
Jay: You’re personal assistant is probably drunk.
Matt: Noooooo … He’s a professional.
Jay: A Professional who’s been into the Scotch.
Matt: Not on what I pay him! More like Moonshine.
Jay: We had a big Moonshine bust here a couple of weeks ago.
Matt: No kidding?
Jay: Yup, FBI and ATF were all over their asses.
Matt: We have a world full of people wanting to do harm to America.
Jay: And we’re worried about hillbillies having a drink.
Matt: Welcome to America.
Jay: Where the Fun Police are in charge.

Matt: Hey! There’s an idea.
Jay: For what?
Matt: This week’s show. That’s why you called right?
Jay: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh …. Yeah, that’s it.
Matt: Well there we go.
Jay: Go where?
Matt: Another “Local News Show!”
Jay: That’s brilliant!
Matt: You’ve already got a story to talk about.
Jay: What story?
Matt: The Moonshiners who were busted.
Jay: Oh right! Good call.
Matt: Are you a little distracted?
Jay: No why?
Matt: Oh just wondering.
Jay: You’re acting kind of weird.
Matt: Oh sorry.
Jay: It’s okay.
Matt: Thanks.
Jay: So? Local News Show?
Matt: Hell yeah!
Jay: Okay! Got it!
Matt: Sweet!
Jay: Maybe people can call in with news in their towns?
Matt: That would be fun too.
Jay: Yeah.
Matt: Yeah.
Jay: Okay, thanks for calling.
Matt: Uh … Sure thing!
Jay: Laterz.
Matt: See ya!

Don’t forget to tune into the “Local News Show 2” on IWS tonight at 11 pm ET!