Quit Being So Difficult

Hola y’all! You know what really annoys me? The new trend here in Redneckville of people in Walmart walking along beside their cart holding onto the side of it and pulling it along with them. Way to take up the whole fucking isle assholes. Anyway, that’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m gonna talk about the annoying habit people have of acting as it they’re entitled to a different cuisine every night. Here’s a hypothetical type situation to show you what I mean…

Me: Hey! Let’s get some dinner?
Friend: Sure, sounds great.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: Oh anything is cool with me. Just whatever.
Me: Okay, how ‘bout Chinese?
Friend: Yeah, I don’t really like Chinese.
Me: Why didn’t you say so?
Friend: I didn’t think you’d suggest Chinese.
Me: But, you could have said “Anything but Chinese.”
Friend: I just thought I’d roll the dice on that one.
Me: Okay, not problem. How ‘bout burgers?
Friend: I had a burger last night.

Now, this is when things get really dicey. When did we become so damn spoiled that we simply will not have the same thing two days in a row? Are we THAT entitled? Do we have some God-given right to have a variety in our meals and never have to double up? What’s worse is that people who do this have never think twice about having leftovers the next day at home or grabbing a cold slice of pizza from the night before and having it for breakfast. Why pretend to be so pretentious about this shit with your friends?

And just because you had Mexican last night doesn’t mean you can’t have Mexican tonight! So you had a quesadilla yesterday? Big deal! Have chimichanga today. What’s so difficult about that? Mexicans have Mexican food almost every single day. They don’t bitch about it.

Or maybe you had Eggplant Parmigiana last night. Have the Chicken Marsala tonight! It won’t hurt you. It’ll be delicious. Italians do shit like this all the time. And, like Mexicans, they don’t bitch about it either, which is amazing because Italians pretty much bitch about everything.

Hell, A BILLION Chinese have Chinese food two or three times a day, every single day of their lives. They don’t DEMAND something different every night. They don’t ask to mix it up and not have the same thing twice in a row, or twice in a week. Hell, I could have Peking Duck several nights in a row without any complaint whatsoever. Love the crispy skin!

Basically people, if someone asks where you want to go for lunch, don’t say “Oh anywhere you want is fine with me” if it isn’t. See, despite my love of Asian women, I’m not a fan of Chinese food. So, if I’m asked if I have a preference, I’ll say “Anything but Chinese is great” because it is. But, if they don’t ask for a preference and they go to a Chinese place, I will be able to find something I can live with and won’t complain. That’s just the considerate kind of guy I am.

Of course, there’s another annoying person in this situation too. I’m talking about the guy who says “Hey let’s go to breakfast (or lunch or dinner), I’m paying. Wherever you want to go is good with me dude.” And then you get someplace and he’s like “Damn, this is a pretty expensive place. I was thinking Waffle House instead of Bob Evans.”

Don’t be either of these people y’all. Just suck it up, order something yummy and have fun assholes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS