I like to use expletives frequently. I mainly try to use them as a form of emphasis but I must admit, oft times I use them simply to be rude.
Anyhoo, IWS fans…
It is Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week ™ here on I’m With Stupid and as we countdown to the resurrection of Jesus, I thought I should cut back or refrain from cussing altogether.
This special holy week, I hope to avoid using any form of the word “fuck”, especially the phrase, “Jesus Fucking Christ.”
It wasn’t just my idea, nooooooo.
Jesus hizzelf told me to try to clean up my language during HIS special week.
He said unto me last night…
“Matt-Man, I love you, but please…try to avoid using such colorful language. If I can do it; you can do it.”
Now for those of you not as intimate with The Lord as I, the “if I can…you can…” line may seem odd.
Well trust me, it’s not.
Ol’ Jeebus may be the Son of God, but in addition to being that and a sarcastic practical joker, the boy used to cuss up a storm.
Damn straight, he did.
He used to call his apostle John a big girlie man and Christ would shout at John in Greek, insults like this...
“John ya big sissy, you are such a Kappa. Upsilon. Nu. Tau.”
He used to refer to Pontius Pilate as a, "mealy mouthed dago pussy."
And referred to Romans in general as, "pasta eating pig fuckers."
I think Jeebus’ Dad finally told him to cool it when he said to an adulteress woman…
“Neither do I condemn you; but go and sin no more, ye of the open legs and bitter herb crotch.”
Jeebus now swears very rarely, however if I happen to mention Joyce Meyer to him, he usually let’s out a…
“Screw that used up, sinning’, cuntmuppet. She’s been cashin’ in on me and my daddy for years. Bitch got no scruples.”
Ha. That one always cracks me up, because his face always shrivels up like a rotten bell pepper when he says that.
So anyway…Since it is Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week ™, and because Jeebus asked me to, I’ll try to control my bad language…especially as I stated, any phrase that uses HIS name and the F-Word.
However, if I see something funny that may contain some bad, savior bastardizing language such as that, I may falter and post it. But, I’ll try to be strong and refrain from doing so.
I trust that I can stay profanity free lo these last six days…
Oh well, I am doing well on giving up bread for Lent. Can’t win em’ all.
*Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus*
Yesterday on the IWS Radio Show, Jayman and I interviewed Dana and Mike. Dana is 47 and Mike is 27, and let me tell ya, there’s a freaky age inappropriate relationship spilling over with those two. To get all the juicy, lewd, and lascivious details you can listen in the archives:
We hope you do...It was actually a good time, and at least the younger of the love struck interviewees seemed to have his head on straight.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmanIWS
Anyhoo, IWS fans…
It is Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week ™ here on I’m With Stupid and as we countdown to the resurrection of Jesus, I thought I should cut back or refrain from cussing altogether.
This special holy week, I hope to avoid using any form of the word “fuck”, especially the phrase, “Jesus Fucking Christ.”
It wasn’t just my idea, nooooooo.
Jesus hizzelf told me to try to clean up my language during HIS special week.
He said unto me last night…
“Matt-Man, I love you, but please…try to avoid using such colorful language. If I can do it; you can do it.”
Now for those of you not as intimate with The Lord as I, the “if I can…you can…” line may seem odd.
Well trust me, it’s not.
Ol’ Jeebus may be the Son of God, but in addition to being that and a sarcastic practical joker, the boy used to cuss up a storm.
Damn straight, he did.
He used to call his apostle John a big girlie man and Christ would shout at John in Greek, insults like this...
“John ya big sissy, you are such a Kappa. Upsilon. Nu. Tau.”
He used to refer to Pontius Pilate as a, "mealy mouthed dago pussy."
And referred to Romans in general as, "pasta eating pig fuckers."
I think Jeebus’ Dad finally told him to cool it when he said to an adulteress woman…
“Neither do I condemn you; but go and sin no more, ye of the open legs and bitter herb crotch.”
Jeebus now swears very rarely, however if I happen to mention Joyce Meyer to him, he usually let’s out a…
“Screw that used up, sinning’, cuntmuppet. She’s been cashin’ in on me and my daddy for years. Bitch got no scruples.”
Ha. That one always cracks me up, because his face always shrivels up like a rotten bell pepper when he says that.
So anyway…Since it is Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week ™, and because Jeebus asked me to, I’ll try to control my bad language…especially as I stated, any phrase that uses HIS name and the F-Word.
However, if I see something funny that may contain some bad, savior bastardizing language such as that, I may falter and post it. But, I’ll try to be strong and refrain from doing so.
I trust that I can stay profanity free lo these last six days…
*Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus Praise Jesus*
Yesterday on the IWS Radio Show, Jayman and I interviewed Dana and Mike. Dana is 47 and Mike is 27, and let me tell ya, there’s a freaky age inappropriate relationship spilling over with those two. To get all the juicy, lewd, and lascivious details you can listen in the archives:
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
We hope you do...It was actually a good time, and at least the younger of the love struck interviewees seemed to have his head on straight.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmanIWS
10 comments:
Good fuhhh...orm not cussing for this most holiest of weeks.
Jay
Jay: Nor shall I ...That picture of JFC is the last bad thing I shall do all week.....Probably. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
I just had contact with Jesus myself. He said he's just messin' with ya'.
Let's see how long you last living with me;)
Mike: Good to know. You did take him out to eat while he was in town didn't ya? Cheers Mike!!
Beth: If I can resist bread, pizza, and the like, I can deflect your antics. Cheers Schmoop!!
Matt-Man
THAT is an image i will not soon forget
and at least the younger of the love struck interviewees seemed to have his head on straight.
Wait a minute! Once the geriatric confusion subsided I realized this was a bit mean!
And thanks for having us Sunday!
Jack: Ha. It is more than a bit disturbing. Cheers Jack!!
Matt-Man
Dana: Oh Dana, Dana...kidding...As we always say, We kid because we love. Thanks for being on. That was great of you guys. Cheers Dana!!
Matt-Man
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