“You need to give your life over to Christ.”
While in the throes of Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week™, I posted on Facebook, Monday, that I wanted to have a sex change and become a lesbian porn star…
In reference to my remark, the aforementioned comment was internettally uttered toward me in the form of a Facebook comment by a woman whom I can only assume, professes herself to be a Christian.
While my response to her was something along the lines of, “Jesus and I are tight.”, I really wanted to say to her…
“Blow me you presumptuous bitch with the Glamour Shot picture. How do you know that I am not one with The Lord, and secondly, what does your declarative statement actually mean?”
Does “giving my life to Christ” involve giving up smoking, drinking, out of wedlock sex, and refraining from making jokes about having a sex change and becoming a lesbian porn star?
Well…in the eyes of the woman who said this and many other “Christians”, yes, yes it does…However…
None of that shit makes a bit of difference in the eyes of The Almighty nor His Righteous, yet Bastard Offspring, Jesus Christ.
Nope.
In Matthew 5:3-12, we learn what the J-Man and his Pappy are all about.
Helping the poor. Comforting those who mourn. Lifting up the meek. Refreshing those who hunger and thirst, and so on.
The Beatitudes people…The great Sermon on the Mount. Those are words and directives that matter, and I try to adhere to that philosophy every damn day.
The chick who commented, “You need to give your life over to Jesus Christ.” probably doesn’t understand any of that. And, she is not alone.
Many “Christians” think that the only way to heaven is to read a text that they do not understand, go to church on Sundays and well…sometimes Wednesdays, and most importantly, judge others.
These folks who lie moribund in their theology, doctrine, and ideology, think that stoicism and respectful silence are the pathways to Heaven.
Ha…Christ was a rebel!!
Jesus Christ was the James Dean of the First Century AD!!
He had a sense of humor…He ultimately took down an Empire…He turned water into wine, all the while saying, “Dig this; watch what I can do, Paul!!”
And they lauuuuuughed…
Far too many “Christians” like the commenter I mention, are stolid, inertiated, ass clowns who don’t see the true joy and will of Christ.
Christ isn’t a pretentious fella. He’s a rad ass maniac who makes things happen, and hangs out with hookers, betrayers, and thieving tax collectors.
Christ doesn’t care what the hell one does, as long as they hurt no other, help when they can, and follow his sermon. And yeah…
It’s that simple.
Following or not following the teachings of Christ cannot be summated and dissolved into a stupid lesbian sex change joke.
Following or not following his teachings is summed up by the lives we lead.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
While in the throes of Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week™, I posted on Facebook, Monday, that I wanted to have a sex change and become a lesbian porn star…
While my response to her was something along the lines of, “Jesus and I are tight.”, I really wanted to say to her…
“Blow me you presumptuous bitch with the Glamour Shot picture. How do you know that I am not one with The Lord, and secondly, what does your declarative statement actually mean?”
Does “giving my life to Christ” involve giving up smoking, drinking, out of wedlock sex, and refraining from making jokes about having a sex change and becoming a lesbian porn star?
Well…in the eyes of the woman who said this and many other “Christians”, yes, yes it does…However…
None of that shit makes a bit of difference in the eyes of The Almighty nor His Righteous, yet Bastard Offspring, Jesus Christ.
Nope.
In Matthew 5:3-12, we learn what the J-Man and his Pappy are all about.
Helping the poor. Comforting those who mourn. Lifting up the meek. Refreshing those who hunger and thirst, and so on.
The Beatitudes people…The great Sermon on the Mount. Those are words and directives that matter, and I try to adhere to that philosophy every damn day.
The chick who commented, “You need to give your life over to Jesus Christ.” probably doesn’t understand any of that. And, she is not alone.
Many “Christians” think that the only way to heaven is to read a text that they do not understand, go to church on Sundays and well…sometimes Wednesdays, and most importantly, judge others.
These folks who lie moribund in their theology, doctrine, and ideology, think that stoicism and respectful silence are the pathways to Heaven.
Ha…Christ was a rebel!!
Jesus Christ was the James Dean of the First Century AD!!
He had a sense of humor…He ultimately took down an Empire…He turned water into wine, all the while saying, “Dig this; watch what I can do, Paul!!”
And they lauuuuuughed…
Far too many “Christians” like the commenter I mention, are stolid, inertiated, ass clowns who don’t see the true joy and will of Christ.
Christ isn’t a pretentious fella. He’s a rad ass maniac who makes things happen, and hangs out with hookers, betrayers, and thieving tax collectors.
Christ doesn’t care what the hell one does, as long as they hurt no other, help when they can, and follow his sermon. And yeah…
It’s that simple.
Following or not following the teachings of Christ cannot be summated and dissolved into a stupid lesbian sex change joke.
Following or not following his teachings is summed up by the lives we lead.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
18 comments:
Jesus was a radical. Most people who call themselves Christian today would run him out of town on a rail if he showed up today.
Jay
Jayman: Hannity would call him a radical, muckraker who has ties to SEIU. Cheers Jayman!!
Matt-Man
I wanna believe in Jesus, but there is no historical proof he existed besides the bible. I'm weird ... I wanna believe in Santa as well.
I think you should go for the whole lesbian porn star thing, and then shoot for Miss Universe.
Hear Hear!! People like this tighten my colon.
Max: Whadda ya mean you need more proof? You need to give your life over to Christ, mister. Cheers Max!!
Matt-Man
Beth: Well in your case that's good because your colon could probably use some tightening. Cheers Schmoop!!
Matt-Man
After the media ran with Tebow's Christian behavior, half of the 'Christians' in the country hated him... Great post Matt!!
Anony: Why thank ya. And as for Tebow? Christians are pre-shaming him for moving to the Den of Iniquity that is the Big Apple. Cheers!!
Matt-Man
Your joke could ONLY be of concern to Christians if they took it literally - that is, if they thought you were actually considering undergoing a sex change in order to do lesbian porn.
And frankly, if you were going to do that, I might be concerned, too.
But without additional evidence, I'm not convinced it was anything more than a joke.
If you're serious, Jesus might not be much help there. I would encourage you to at least talk through it with a shrink before jumping into anything.
Or, at the very least, make sure you get a signed contract to star in a few films beforehand...
I swear that Christ guy and his father cause more trouble than any other zombie I've been told to give myself to.
Katy: Oh I don't think God and His son would have a problem with that. After all, I don't remember "Thou Shall Not Become a Lesbian Porn Star" to be one of His commandments.. Cheers Katy!!
Matt-Man
Knight: They don't cause the problems, their followers do. Cheers Kniiiiiight!!
Matt-Man
I have always said (well ... always since my minor foray into the depths the kool-aid drinking mega church) ...
I don't have an issue with Christ
But I have a plethora of issues with Christians
I thought you were serious and I said to go ahead and do it. Does this mean I'm going to hell?
Christians are giving Christianity a bad name and it's a shame. I'm a Pagan myself, but the "do unto others" thing sticks in my head. Pointing at others and saying they are doing it all wrong just doesn't work for me!
Great post!
The whole "give your life over" is the stickler for me. We're more likely to be of good use to the human race if we stay in our miserable problems and work on them instead of subletting our brains to one of the oldest sales pitches: Believe, and you'll be saved. I stopped going to church because I couldn't find God there.
Dana: Amen!! Cheers Dana and thanks for joining us today.
Matt-Man
Linda: Hell yeah they are. I loathe organized religion of any kind. Churches are the devil's work. Thanks for the comment Hot Stuff, and Cheers!!
Matt-Man
Jo: Once again, I agree. I have never found a church that was worth a damn to me. I think I just found God at the bottom of my bottle of Rose. Cheers Jo!!
Matt-Man
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