Taylor Swift and Jennifer Love Hewitt: A Comparative Study

Hola Bitches.

You’ll have to excuse me. My post was originally going to be about how Alec Baldwin is nothing like his reputation. I tried to make the case that Alec is NOT an egomaniacal rageaholic in need of at least a decade of anger management classes before he could even be called a halfway decent person. But, I had to trash it and do something else.

Thanks a lot Alec. You pompous, selfish, out of control, loud-mouthed, BASTARD! NOW I HAVE TO COME UP WITH AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BLOG POST ON SHORT NOTICE. ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY? ARE YOU? YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME!

Uh, sorry, almost lost my cool for a second there.

Okay, so back to Celebrity Reputations. I’ve been working on this for a while now. And by “working” I mean “thinking about it while taking a dump,” and by “a while” I mean this afternoon. We all know that it’s possible, and even likely that many celebrities are the exact opposite of their public reputation.

And, sometimes two celebrities who seem like exact opposites of each opposite of each other, really are, but for the exact opposite reasons. Does that make any sense? Here, let me give you the best example I could come up with after years months days hours a few minutes of thinking about it.

Let’s take Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ed’s note: RAWR!) and Taylor Swift. Now, there’s really no doubt that these two are pretty much opposites. But, isn’t it possible that they opposites while each of them are the exact opposite of what most people’s perception of them is? I’ll explain…

Taylor Swift: She is actually a cold-hearted, no-talent, man eater. She chews men up and spits them out. She’s an animal in bed and is the absolute greatest lay in the entire world. She uses men for sex and when she’s tired of them tosses ‘em aside like yesterday’s trash. She also uses her sex appeal to get what she wants. 

  

JLH: She is actually a shy, modest, painfully naïve lady who is sweet and caring but not all that experienced or wise to the ways of the world. She is overflowing with love and talent and boys fall in love with her immediately and while she thinks they’re sweet she doesn’t want to compromise her Christian values by losing her virginity to someone who won’t treasure it. 

See? They’re total opposites, but also the opposite of their public persona. And I can only assume John Meyer wrote “Your Body is a Wonderland” for Jennifer Love Hewitt because he was wondering what it would be like to actually get to touch the frigid little Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other news we had a great Show Prep session Wed on “I’m With Stupid.” We actually did do show prep this time, just to mix things up a bit. We also made a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.

That announcement is that I’m With Stupid’s Saturday show will be moving to 11 pm EST, 10 pm Central, 9 pm Mountain, 8 pm Pacific and 12 noon on Sundays in Manila, the Philippines. So, mark your calendars, put the beer on ice and be sure to join us for a rollicking good time!

And, just for the fun of it, listen to Wednesday’s show prep show too. There you will find out what Saturday’s show topic will be. You’re gonna love it!

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