Caution!! The spin stops here!!
Bill O’Reilly here for I’m With Stupid, and you’re probably already asking yourselves…
“Why would a man of O’Reilly’s, grandiose and soon-to-be cast in bronze on public squares image, go slumming for attention on this internet rag sheet?”
Because folks, I’m looking out for you, and must call a pinhead a pinhead when I see one, and yesterday?
I’m With Stupid’s Senior War on Christmas correspondent, Marty Martstein, showed through his idiotic elocution, that he is indeed, a pinhead.
You see, like most socialist progressives…
Mr. Martstein via his IWS article yesterday, attacked Christians as being hypocrites and savages because there were a handful of minor incidents and injuries on Black Friday as 80% of America rushed to get jawbone of an ass dropping deals on today’s versions of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, in order to celebrate the birthday of Christ.
Mr. Martstein reported that during the Black Friday for Christ festivities, a grandfather in Phoenix was beaten by security, a man in Oakland was shot, customers in LA were pepper sprayed, and in Little Rock, fights and ass cheeks broke out over two dollar waffle irons during what appeared to be a plumbers’ convention.
All very cutesy of our secular friend Mr. Martstein, but all in all, not very fair and balanced. You see…
What Mr. Martstein fails to report is, that without injury to body or soul, millions of Christ-Loving Americans made their epic journeys to the stores in order to “pay it forward” in His name, and like Mary and Joseph were counted as Christians in the cultural census in spite of throngs of Herod worshipping secularists and shopkeepers.
So typical of Mr. Martstein and the loony Left, and it speaks volumes of their drug-addled, hippie upbringing.
I don’t know what went on at Christmas in Mr. Martstein’s household when he was a kid, but when I grew up in a working class neighborhood of Levittown NY., and my father worked his middle-class job as a currency counter for an oil company, Christmas meant Midnight Mass, praising the birth of the Christ child, and reviewing my first term grades that I had earned while attending the non-government supported, Chaminade High School in Mineola.
Christmas also meant that mom would serve sauterne punch and rum soaked petit fours, but that’s a story for my next book, which of course if you are a premium member of The O’Reilly Factor, you will be able to receive at a steep discount…anyway…
After Mass, we would all meet on the steps of the Church, and in our sauterne and rum induced jocularity, say, “Merry Christmas” to one and other, and let me tell you…
Back in those days, had Mr. Martstein been around to protest our Merry Christmases to one and other, I would have punched him in his pinhead, and shoved a crucifix and an Advent candle up his ass. That’s just the way it was back then.
But now, we Christians aren’t permitted to do such things. We Christians, in the name of tolerance, are expected to sit in silence and embrace cultures and religions that get their feelings hurt if we dare mention the birth of Jesus Christ. And boy do they get all bent out of shape when we do that.
I have done research that shows that 99% of atheists, secularists, Muslims, and other anti-Christ store goers get their burkas in a wad over store employees saying "Merry Christmas" to them this time of year.*
Well you know what? Fuck it…The fucking thing sucks…I’ll write it and we’ll do it live. Right here and right now.
We Christians can now tell pinheads like Marty Martstein that the shoe of the fisherman is on the other foot and we have the upper hand.
The Jesus hating progressives may be the 99 per centers, but we are the one percent of Americans that will get Raptured up…and we are occupying righteousness.
Merry Christmas, and bring me the Head of Bill Mahar,
Bill O’Reilly
To reach Bill-O, contact Matt-Man @:
neshobadude@yahoo.com
www.twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS
*Research provided to Bill-O by President of the Catholic League, Bill Donohue, over fried tilapia bites, and a fifth of Jameson’s at O’Leary’s in Secaucus, NJ. Neither left a tip.
“Why would a man of O’Reilly’s, grandiose and soon-to-be cast in bronze on public squares image, go slumming for attention on this internet rag sheet?”
Because folks, I’m looking out for you, and must call a pinhead a pinhead when I see one, and yesterday?
I’m With Stupid’s Senior War on Christmas correspondent, Marty Martstein, showed through his idiotic elocution, that he is indeed, a pinhead.
You see, like most socialist progressives…
Mr. Martstein via his IWS article yesterday, attacked Christians as being hypocrites and savages because there were a handful of minor incidents and injuries on Black Friday as 80% of America rushed to get jawbone of an ass dropping deals on today’s versions of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, in order to celebrate the birthday of Christ.
Mr. Martstein reported that during the Black Friday for Christ festivities, a grandfather in Phoenix was beaten by security, a man in Oakland was shot, customers in LA were pepper sprayed, and in Little Rock, fights and ass cheeks broke out over two dollar waffle irons during what appeared to be a plumbers’ convention.
All very cutesy of our secular friend Mr. Martstein, but all in all, not very fair and balanced. You see…What Mr. Martstein fails to report is, that without injury to body or soul, millions of Christ-Loving Americans made their epic journeys to the stores in order to “pay it forward” in His name, and like Mary and Joseph were counted as Christians in the cultural census in spite of throngs of Herod worshipping secularists and shopkeepers.
So typical of Mr. Martstein and the loony Left, and it speaks volumes of their drug-addled, hippie upbringing.
I don’t know what went on at Christmas in Mr. Martstein’s household when he was a kid, but when I grew up in a working class neighborhood of Levittown NY., and my father worked his middle-class job as a currency counter for an oil company, Christmas meant Midnight Mass, praising the birth of the Christ child, and reviewing my first term grades that I had earned while attending the non-government supported, Chaminade High School in Mineola.
Christmas also meant that mom would serve sauterne punch and rum soaked petit fours, but that’s a story for my next book, which of course if you are a premium member of The O’Reilly Factor, you will be able to receive at a steep discount…anyway…
After Mass, we would all meet on the steps of the Church, and in our sauterne and rum induced jocularity, say, “Merry Christmas” to one and other, and let me tell you…
Back in those days, had Mr. Martstein been around to protest our Merry Christmases to one and other, I would have punched him in his pinhead, and shoved a crucifix and an Advent candle up his ass. That’s just the way it was back then.
But now, we Christians aren’t permitted to do such things. We Christians, in the name of tolerance, are expected to sit in silence and embrace cultures and religions that get their feelings hurt if we dare mention the birth of Jesus Christ. And boy do they get all bent out of shape when we do that.
I have done research that shows that 99% of atheists, secularists, Muslims, and other anti-Christ store goers get their burkas in a wad over store employees saying "Merry Christmas" to them this time of year.*
Well you know what? Fuck it…The fucking thing sucks…I’ll write it and we’ll do it live. Right here and right now.We Christians can now tell pinheads like Marty Martstein that the shoe of the fisherman is on the other foot and we have the upper hand.
The Jesus hating progressives may be the 99 per centers, but we are the one percent of Americans that will get Raptured up…and we are occupying righteousness.
Merry Christmas, and bring me the Head of Bill Mahar,
Bill O’Reilly
To reach Bill-O, contact Matt-Man @:
neshobadude@yahoo.com
www.twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS
*Research provided to Bill-O by President of the Catholic League, Bill Donohue, over fried tilapia bites, and a fifth of Jameson’s at O’Leary’s in Secaucus, NJ. Neither left a tip.
10 comments:
Hey Bill, happy holidays.
Mike: Tread carefully around Bill-O and his massive ego. It can swallow one up. Cheers Mike!!
Matt-Man
For a man who loves the Baby Jesus and Christmas so much, Bill-O never seems to be full of the spirit of the season. So sad to go through life so bitter and angry all the time. There's no joy in his life.
Marty: Maybe he's just a guy who refuses to wear his heart and any sense of joy whatsoever on his sleeve. Great work yesterday, and hey...at least Bill-O got your name right. Cheers Marty!!
Matt-Man
yo Bill
I just spoke to Jesus and he told me he fucking hates you
he's so sick of you ruining his mellow and messing with his karma
he tells me he will cause Walmarts throughout the land to spontaneously combust if they carry your next book
oh - and Happy Hanukah
love
Heathen Leftist Jewess
Di: Hey Now...Don't be so hard on Bill-O. I'm sure he'd love to rub his falafel all over your hot body. Cheers Sexy, and nice pic!!
Matt-Man
I would like to say something nice about this guy Bill, but I will save it for when I see him in HELL !
;-)
Evel: That is like sharing the Christmas spirit here on earth of ya. Cheers Evel!!
Matt-Man
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How S-T-U-P-i-D is Bill O'Reilly I hear you ask ...
Well, I actually saw his TV program one day, during which he claimed that he was, not only an independent thinker, but also - to put the icing on the cake, Bill stated as fact! that he was REGiSTERED (on electoral rolls) as INDEPENDENT ...
But when people went searching they - in fact, found Bill O'Reilly was actually registered as Republican.
now THAT'S STUPiD !
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