Creepy Kid Next Door: Oh Yeah...This Man is a Senior!!

Hi IWS Radio and Website Heads!! Guess who is back?

That’s right…THIS GUY!!

I’m Creepy Kid Next Door and you haven’t seen me in a long, long while have you?

Darn right you haven’t, because you know what this sexy, now a Senior in High School has been doing?

STUFF!!  Ha!!

Stuff you would like to know about, but never will, because it’s stuff that I’M doing.  Got it !?

Uh-huh.  I don’t let anyone, know anything about my stuff.

My stuff is kept secret to me and a few of my only slightly removed from puberty, posse, because if I were to share what I do in my private life, MTV would copy it, and hire quasi-actors to do a quasi-real life type of show to present it.

CKND, is all up, and down, for a good reality TV show, just don’t taint my brand.  My brand, is MY brand. Do you hear me Viacom Media?  Just step off, and back away from my life, or I’ll cut you, well…

I won’t; I have people for that, and my mom and dad could easily cut a Viacom bitch by hiring a lawyer.

Anyway, I just started my Senior year of High School and let me tell, I am like an Adonis now that I have reached the Mt. Olympus of High School hierarchy.

I’m like the, Zeus Kid Next Door.  I tell the little people what to do. I eat their livestock on a whim, and their women?  I just say, “Hey, I’m CKND, wanna go out?”

I mean, I always knew I was born to greatness, but Holy Cow, I never expected this!!

Some of you who know me, know that I am a baller.  I can sink 91 three-point shots in 5 minutes, but did you know that this year, I am also running Cross-Country?

It’s true.  And…I am a badass at it.

We already had our first meet, and me, my Adonis-like body, and my size fourteen and a half feet came in at 22 plus minutes.  Not nearly the fastest speed, but you know what?  I looked sexy doing it, and…That is what it is all about.

Oh sure, I heard that that IWS Matt guy reported on the air that I fell, tripped, or got knocked over three times in my first meet on the IWS Radio Show, but so what?

You know what else fell, got tripped, and or knocked over?  His FACE!!

Some people are always gonna hate.  Even gonna hate someone like me.  That’s sad.

I didn’t want to run Cross Country, but I did it to stay in shape for basketball and to be true to my school, the Matt-Man does a radio show to be true to his rude.  Ha Ha!!

Looks like somebody just leveled the playing field.  Take that, Mr. Funny Matt-Man.

Anyway, it’s my Senior year of High School, and I am going to enjoy it, because the cheerleaders love me.

You know why?

Because, I am a Senior, and...

I’m a runner and a baller, and most importantly…

In spite of my sarcastic nature and off the cuff sleights toward my dad, I think I have finally matured.

YOUR FACE STILL SUCKS,

CKND

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

In other news...Jayman and I celebrated the end of our 2nd year on the air and we did it with style, as we talked to Shirley, Warrior Kat, and Natalie...It was awesome, so if you missed it, give it a listen:

Creepy Kid Next Door: Back to School

Yo Yo Maaaaaa…Creepy Kid Next Door here and I had to tell the joys of summer that it was time to be hittin’ the old dusty trail as I am now headed back to school today.

That’s right. I’m taking my teen dream, cougar bait, drippin’ in awesome sauce body back to the halls of learning today so Ize can start my junior year of High School.

Shortly after 8 AM the sound of the school bell will fill my sexy ears and my incredible self will feel the weight of dozens of stares coming from hot, High School honeys.

I am taking Anatomy this year. Can’t wait for that class start. The teacher ought to throw the book away and just have me stand up in front of the students, and just call the class: AnatoME

That’s right. Look at me closely babe, ‘cause there’s gonna be a test on this tomorrow.

Who’s your teacher now!? Hey-Ooooooooo, looks like someone just leveled the playing field.

I have a new Spanish teacher this year. Not too sure about her. She’s alright but she has freaky eyes and looks a little like Pancho Villa. Como?

I’m taking a journalism class this year too. We will be publishing the school newspaper and putting together the Yearbook. 

I can tell ya right now, that there are going to be a lot of pictures of me in the Yearbook and paper. And pictures of fried poo, hot chicks, cat fur, and guess what else?

Pictures of YOUR FACE!!

Ha. Didn’t see that coming did ya? No, no you didn’t, so don’t even try to go there.

I’m taking some other classes too. Algebra II, English, American Government…you know, stuff. I am also teaching a class this year. It’s called:

How to be as Awesome and Sexy as Me 101. I can tell you right now, everyone is going to fail. ‘Cause it just isn’t possible.

Okay there’s the bell…Time to get to learnin’ and time to school the chicks in the art of lovin’ the Creepy Kid Next Door.

Later,

CKND

Creepy Kid Next Door: What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Hi IWS readers and listeners, Creepy Kid Next Door here with another installment of my awesomeness.

School starts up again for me in a couple of weeks, so I thought I’d tell you what I’ve been up to during my summer vacation.

The first thing I did, because it’s been so dry and hot here, was to get a magnifying glass, corral some ants, and burn the hell out of them.

It was fun for awhile, but man…THE SMELL!!

You know what it smelled like?

YOUR FACE!!

Guess what else I did, while you were all going to work and chatting on the internet? I made friends with some neighborhood cats.

I never realized how shiny their coats got after applying kerosene to them. Man, they shine…and on the 4^th of July, the cats were screaming “Independence!!” Meowwwwwww.

You know who else was screaming, “Independence!!” on the 4^th?

YOUR FACE!!

After all of my animalistic fun with ants and cats, I did some dumpster diving just to see what was up. You know what I found?

I found that after three days in a dumpster under a hot sun, a half bag of Smoked Bacon potato chips tastes just like Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips. Not bad, not bad…

You know what else tastes like Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips?

YOUR FACE !!

I also spent time at our Mall which contains a Sears, a Penny’s, and 12 T-Shirt shops, lookin’ for some teenage Halle Berry looking bootyliciousness.

All I saw was a 55 year old Lady Gaga wannabe swaying her cellulite from window to window, and my buddy Oliver picking his nose and wiping his boogers on the counter at Aunt Annie’s Pretzel Place. Can you say, “Loser?”

You know who else is a loser?

YOUR FACE!!

Anyway, this is the Creepy Kid Next Door saying…

Don’t Hate ‘Cause You Ain’t!!