Matt Said, Jay Said XIX: New Year's Resolutions

Matt giải quyết, Jay giải quyết, You thủ dâm. And, you we all do it in Vietnamese.

So we’re gonna do a something a little different for this week’s edition of Matt Said, Jay Said kids. Instead of bits and pieces of hilarious conversations between Matt-Man and Jayman, we’re simply going to post our New Year’s Resolutions. Some of them may not be all that serious.

Matt-Man:

1. I will practice better bathroom etiquette.  I will clean the sink after I shave, and pee in the toilet rather than merely near the toilet.

2. I am going to seriously focus on making money from my writing, our website, and our radio show.

3. To meet the ends of the previous resolution, I am going to become a better writer and radio co-host.

4. Instead of making fun of Norwegians, I will merely ignore them.

5. I am going to put away 10 dollars a week as is Schmoop, so by Christmas of 2012 we have $1,000.00 on hand to more than pay for Christmas and have a nice year end bonus for us.

6. I am going to eat healthier.  Twice a week I will replace my typical dinner of a greasy double cheeseburger and fries with CHICKEN nuggets AND A taco SALAD.

7. I vow to kick Sean Hannity in the vagina on national TV.

8. I used to help with the cleaning of the Bagwine digs, and haven’t been doing that.  I will make sure I start doing that again.

9. I am going to make sure that my son is mentally and emotionally prepared for college when he graduates in 2013.

10. I will jack off less frequently, especially during the dry, winter months.

11. I will love more, hate less, become a better person, and most importantly…

12. I will get the makers of Steel Reserve to become a sponsor of our show.

Jayman:

1. Be more organized and set deadlines for writing blog posts and stuff for the show.

2. Cut back dramatically on the frozen pizzas, chips, soft drinks and alcohol.

3. Develop an impressive, yet not too expensive, daily cocaine habit.

4. Double my Twitter followers, Facebook friends and triple Tumblr followers.

5. Learn to sing, play guitar and/or piano and tap dance.

6. Run a marathon

7. Work harder and maintaining and improving relationships and actually interact more.

8. Do at least one IWS podcast while in the same location as Matt-Man.

9. Master the art of ventriloquism.

10. Get all restraining orders lifted.

11. Work on learning new and different writing styles.

12. Improve the technical aspects of the show by getting rid of the cheap headset and acquiring a good USB condenser mic with a filter and possibly a mixer.

And, speaking of New Year’s Eve, and we were, don’t forget to join us for our big New Year’s Eve Show on I’m With Stupid at 11 pm ET! Or, catch us in the archives. It’s gonna be a blast.

But wait that’s not all! On Wednesday we held a pretty good 2012 strategy session where we talked about some great ideas for this blog and the show coming up in the New Year. If you want a little sneak preview of some of the stuff we’re talking about, then give the show a listen using this handy-dandy player provided by BTR which the new Blogger really fucking posting. But, they can’t stop us!

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone out there and remember that we love each and every one of you guys. Well, 95% of ya at least. Probably 98%. 

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